lili@ugent.be
book

A search for leftist sex

Book chapter by Katrien Jacobs

“Then, after months of masturbation, I went looking for a real sex partner again. I felt that by then I had reached a dead end with my sexual chats and infatuations. I was too much driven by my own imagination, got too little response, and finally wanted sex with a person. I travelled to Berlin for a few weeks and on the advice of a younger friend I wanted to try out the app Feeld. I created a profile there to get dates from couples who wanted sex with a bisexual woman. But I mostly got responses from single younger men who wanted sex with an older woman. I had read so much slander about fat, ugly, disgusting old women during my alt-right research that I really appreciated contact with a younger man. The first man I had a date with was a tall and muscled 35-year-old redheaded engineer, specialising in industrial sound systems and artwork, wearing silver glasses. He was nice and wanted to have a long chat on a terrace before we went to bed together to physically experience some bdsm fantasies. We took it easy; he liked to talk to me, including about his long-term girlfriend who was abroad, and he even commented on my research. He made a tremendous effort to get to know my fantasies and did not mind having what we called ‘left sex’ – that is, sex that does not culminate in the classical penetration of the woman by the man, as propagated by the alt right. My partner was not at all keen on this either, but we were both uncomfortable and shy about what exactly was supposed to happen. He said afterwards that my age had been a plus, but I don’t know if he meant it, because this kind of compliment is also a convenient way to avoid depth.” (Katrien Jacobs in ‘Intimate Revolutions’; pp.44-45; our own translation)

In her contribution to the collection Intimate Revolutions. Tegendraads in seks, liefde en zorg (Boom, 2021, in Dutch), Katrien Jacobs writes about her research into the sex and gender culture of the alt right in Belgium and the Netherlands. With vulnerable openness and honesty, she describes how, during that research, she wrestled with her own sexuality as an ageing woman, while encountering hurtful poisonous attacks, and a sadly colourless drive for status quo, tradition, and a so-called ‘sexual normal’. Referring to Kristen Ghodsee’s Why Women Have Better Sex Under Socialism, Jacobs argues for a radical left-wing sex, in which the female quest for sexual pleasure is part of acquiring independence. According to Jacobs, leftist sex means a positive recognition and celebration of the enormous variety of bodies and erotics that deviate from the colourless ideal image.

Katrien Jabobs (2021), ‘Extreemrechts in je bed’. In: Rahil Roodsaz & Katrien De Graeve, Intieme revoluties. Tegendraads in seks, liefde en zorg. Amsterdam: Boom; pp. 33-48.
Kristen Ghodsee (2018), Why women have better sex under socialism: And other arguments for economic independence. Bold Type Books.

https://www.boomfilosofie.nl/product/100-9743_Intieme-revoluties

Partagez votre histoire

Vous êtes une femme de plus de 50 ans et vous souhaitez partager votre expérience de l'intimité et de l'(a)sexualité sur ce site web? Envoyez-nous votre histoire ! Nous sommes intéressés par les témoignages personnels de femmes sur leurs expériences par rapport au corps vieillissant, aux relations, à l'intimité et à la sexualité.